Molto Malta*

*translation: v Malta

Not sure if my previous posts have made this clear but I am traveling my 100 days alone, so I’m doing my best to meet up with traveling friends along the way. First up is Malta to meet up with my dear friend Bellesa from my old gig at Toro. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know anything about Malta until I met B almost two years ago and I imagine I’m not the only one on that ferry boat. Second note: she is actually from the smaller island Gozo and I’ve only been to Malta’s airport but for the sake of a bilingual pun, the title of this post remains. This post is a long one so get out now while you can.

The above being said, I didn’t have any expectations for my six days in Gozo other than eating pizza and drinking copious amounts of wine with B. What ensued however were some of the most amazing views and breathtaking moments of my life. As such, no blog post can ever do my time on the island justice but I’m sure as hell going to try dammit. Let’s talk about Monday: there was a boat tour around the island that took us to Blue Lagoon (photo no. 1) then we went to Malsaforn, a beach we had already been to only this time we trekked a little further down the coast (no. 2). You’ll see this isn’t your typical beach, there wasn’t even sand on the shore. There were however flat rocks that went pretty far into the sea that made it look like you were walking on water as the waves crashed on your feet. Think a slightly underwater boardwalk made of a giant smooth rock. Are you picturing it? Goood.

A little further in there were also several free standing rocks and when I found the one that hurt my ass the least when I sat on it, I posted up. This is how we met John, a local, slightly older gent who was just going for a swim and digging up sea urchin. Now, aside from Gozo, uni is another love of mine so when John cut up live sea urchin on that rock for us to eat I had a moment I won’t even begin to explain. He then gave each of us a sea urchin to take home (no. 3). B had to drag me from the beach that day.


Seriously, get out now there’s lots more. On my high from Monday I didn’t think Tuesday stood a chance but I went along anyway. Our first stop was the Azure Window (no. 4) one of Gozo’s most famous sights and home to Game of Thrones Season 1. It really is something you have to see to believe. From there we went to Hondoq Bay which I knew was B’s favorite beach going into it but I was not prepared for what I was about to experience. We climbed a bunch of rocks to end up in a secluded cave where the two of us just floated (no. 5). To put it simply but not mildly, I found my happy place that day.

 I left the islands with a jellyfish sting (no Bellesa didn’t pee on me, yes I peed on myself), a piece of sea urchin stuck in my foot, multiple bruises and the urge to return stat. If anyone ever marries me, this is where I’m honeymooning. AKA, Angie and I will probably just come on a trip. Ciao for now! P


13 things you will undoubtedly say to yourself while in Italy during the summer

note: this post is not to be confused with things others will say to you

  1. Holy shit why is it so hot?
  2. No really, why is it so hot?
  3. It’s like 98 degress but no Nick Lachey
  4. I wonder what Justin from 98 degress is up to
  5. How is everyone OK with this?
  6. Let’s cool down in Zara. NOPE, no AC there.
  7. Am I going to die here?
  8. This view better be worth it
  9. What the fuck is elbow sweat?
  11. But if I drink water I’ll have to find somwhere to pee
  12. How do you say bathroom again?
  13. Yup, this is worth it  

Shoutout to Florence for keeping it 100 degrees. 

11 things people will say to you upon learning you’re traveling alone

  1. Oh! That’s so brave!
  2. Oh. So, you’re by yourself?
  3. Like, all alone?
  4. Oh (head-tilt).
  6. Haven’t you seen Taken?
  7. I could never do that (shakes head profusely).
  8. No one to come with you?
  9. Oh. Well that’s alright! (fake enthusiasm)
  10. OMG I WANT TO BE YOU (no one has said this to me)
  11. “That’s so wonderful! Get ready for an adventure.” thanks Vivian


Things I’ve learned to say in Italian: Part due

  1. It’s so hot/ has it ever been this hot?/ hot in here
    • Molto caldo/ è mai stato così caldo?/ caldo qui
  2. May I use the restroom?
    •  Posso usare il bagno? note: don’t bother learning this, the answer is always no
  3. Man bun.
    •  bun di uomo
  4. Is it okay if I walk around in my bra? (see number 1)
    • è ok si vado in giro nel mio reggiseno?
  5. Why yes, I’d love to hear your desserts
    • Si, mi piacerebbe sentire le vostre dolci

I’ve actually learned a pretty good amount of Italian during my time and now it’s a matter of practicing. When eating good food requires doing so, you do what you gotta do #amirite

When in Rome for two weeks

“Ideally, you visit Rome slowly. You sit, you stroll, you take it slow and as it comes. You don’t go to see stuff, you let it slip up on you — one piazza, one fountain, one amazing structure at a time. That would be the best-case scenario.”

At the risk of making this blog a Tony Bourdain shrine, the above is another quote for you from the travelman. These words guided me, so to speak, all throughout my two weeks here; one of the lovely things about traveling alone (more on this later) is you can do what you want when you want, and for me that meant the above. Living in a notoriously tourist-filled city like New York you learn to find your own version of the city, and that’s exactly what I intended to do here in Roma.
I spent most of my time here slow-strolling with no particular destination, peeking through one narrow street at a time to decide my next move. Sometimes this lead me to a dead-end but more often than that it lead me to the Piazza del Popolo, the Colosseum and Piazza Navona. With a knack for avoiding tourists traps (maybe more on this later but no promises) and a pretty great sense of direction, Tony’s words have yet to fail me. I’m hardly an expert but I kind of am so take my word [and Tony’s] that it really is the best way to see any given city. Whenever people ask me what to do in New York I tell them to pick a start and an end point and just wander in between. This makes them roll their eyes and walk away. baci e abbracci, Patrizia

Words to Travel by

“If you’re twenty-two, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to travel – as far and as widely as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find out how other people live and eat and cook. Learn from them – wherever you go.” – Tony Bourdain

I’m twenty-four, physically fitting into my clothes currently, and just plain hungry but I think this qoute (which I first read only three hours after hitting ‘purchase’ on my Euro ticket), still applys. Here’s hoping Tony’s words will inspire a travel bug in one of you. Buon viaggio! pd

Things I’ve learned to say in Italian: Part uno

  1. How do you say [blank] in Italian?
    • Come si diche ‘pun’ en l’italiano? ‘Gioco de parole,’ apparently.
  2. Table for one please (pause) Yes, for one.
    • Tavolo per uno per favore (pause) Si, per uno.
  3. No thank you, I don’t want a selfie stick.
    • No grazie, non voglio un selfie stick.
  4. Can I have another glass of wine please?
    • Posso avere un altro bicchiere di vino per favore?
  5. fuck boy.
    • ragazzo cazzo.


I guess let’s start from the top. Just a little over two months ago I was sitting at my then bosses going away lunch when a dear coworker leaned over and asked me when I was “getting out of here.” I brushed his question off, whispering jokingly that I would start looking for a new job soon. “No. Like, you should get out of New York.” A second nervous laugh later and my eyes opened up like they did when I realized Santa’s handwriting looked an awful lot like my mom’s.

That following Sunday (the aformentioned was a Tuesday) I sat at a bar in Brooklyn with Angie, two weak cocktails in. “That’s it. I’m doing it!” In that moment I decided that I would pack-up and head abroad. By the third cocktail I had asked the bartender for a pen and paper where I scribbled cities, activities, bucket-list items and the things I needed to get done before leaving.

I spent the following week running the idea by my family, seeking approval and assurance that I wasn’t crazy. I told work little-by-little and then friends. Some people asked “why?” and I just shrugged and smiled knowing my answer was lenghty, maybe a little self-indulgent and probably boring. Then there were the people who didn’t have any follow-up questions (read: my favorite people).

Now I suppose this decision seems v radical and maybe even ill-thought-out (HOW DARE YOU?) but nothing has ever felt more right. I mean, timing was perfect, my lease was to be up at the end of May and instead of renewing a lease or going through another apartment headache, why not just travel? There was and is no particular reason for this decision, just justifications. That’s the thing about these kind of decisions, some people can be quick to assume you are escaping something. For Liz in Eat, Pray, Love it was her failed marriage and James Franco; Francis in Under the Tuscan Sun: her cheating husband; and Lizzie McGuire: her embarrasing high-school graduation. I however have nothing to escape. I left a rainy New York ugly-crying in a cab but knowing I would be back soon. New York will be there when I get back, and as one friend told me: so will the people that matter.

*wandermusting /wɒndəmʌst/ noun: a strong need to travel, “a woman consumed by wandermust”

‘flix and the city

I have a true love-hate relationship with TBS. For one, I hate their slogan “very funny” but I lurve that they play Friends daily. I soon forget about that love when a perfectly good Friends marathon is cut short with Eps of The King of Queens immediately killing my Chandler Bing buzz. I despise their overall censoring because you have to be some form of satanic spawn to cut out JT’s Leonardo DaVinci butt in Friends with Benefits. Likewise, though incredibly less significant to me, is their censoring of Sex and the City.

See, lately I’ve been on a SATC binge which my therapist would argue is healthier than a JT binge, right Sheila? Side note: I’m currently watching season 3 episode 7 right now aka I’m ready to pull Miranda’s ginger pixie right off and aka this post is taking much longer to write than it should.

Being single and living in the greatest city on earth I admit I find the show incredibly comforting lately. And while I will never associate myself as being a “Charlotte” or a “Samantha,” or accept the fact that Carrie has a rent-controlled studio apartment on the UES, these ladies know whatsup. One minor detail: the series ended over 10 years ago. Imagine SATC taking place in 2014 where Charlotte would spend hours wondering why some bro used a period instead of an exclamation point, or Carrie had to decide whether or not to unfollow Big on Instgram.  These women handed their phone numbers out on pieces of paper or had to be “listed” so guys could call them and leave voicemails to set up a date. Whereas today we’re deciphering hieroglyphics and deciding which of the 8 smile emojis to use. Hint: none.

f TBS. (TBS competitors should have paid me for this post)


some idiot once said that laughter is the best medicine when we all know it’s peanut butter #amirite. I do think they’re onto something though- I’ve learned lately that being able to laugh at the ridiculousness that is your own life is one of the keys to sanity (only if paired with two servings of chunky PB a day, of course).

see, a stranger may giggle at the fact that in a city of 8+ million I somehow managed to run into two (TWO!) tinder matches in a month. Mom: don’t google tinder. but I can laugh-cry at the fact that one of them was making my sister’s pizza at broadway bites.

a coworker will laugh and immediately pity me when I tell them that while on the way to dinner on Sunday where my sister Vicki faceTimed her bf and Caro called hers, I texted Angie. This is even more hilarious to me so save the sad head tilt will ya?

heck some may have even been laughing at me this time one year ago when every single blog post surrounded my unemployment and my overall broke-girlness. And even though said people are assholes, I now laugh at the fact that I kinda sorta almost didn’t have to graduate college to be where I am now. OH WELLLL [pays monthly student loan payment and sobs]

you see, it’s far better to have them laughing with you than at you. Plus: you can laugh at them for being idiots and not realizing you are one step ahead of them. bwaahahaaha