tears for apartment

I’m 100% positive I have lost all readership so sincere apologies in advance for this sounding like a diary entry that I write under the assumption that one of my sisters will break into my diary after finding its hiding place. Side note: I would “hide” my diary under my pillow, so shame on me really. Anyway, the reason for this post is solely to serve as an outlet for me to unleash all my emotions surrounding my recent move to a new apartment- an outlet that isn’t me randomly throwing my office supplies on the ground that is. That was your warning by the way, not sure what you’re still doing here.

It’s no surprise how obsessed I am with my gurl New York, but seriously what the fuck is up with the housing market here, babe? This time last year I was in the midst of settling into my first nyc apartment in stuytown, which apparently is not pronounced “stewey town,” whatever. Two weeks in I realized it may be exactly my budget, a great area, have central AC and the prettiest chocolate floors ever but that couldn’t make up for the fact that it was basically a brothel with a baby next door who cried for 10 out of 12 months. I still haven’t figured out if the baby crying made the dog bark incessantly or vice versa. Needless to say I was le pumped to start my apartment search this May mostly because I thought (read with a higher-pitch) nothing could be worse than last year. God and Mayor Jay-Z pointed and laughed at that naive thought from there Tribeca penthouse which I can only assume is filled with French bulldogs.

If the amount of tears shed is any indication, this time around was 48 times worse than last year. People at work knew not to ask me how I was doing because the answer would be an ugly cry, like really ugly. I could actually taste an apartment Angie and I found in Bushwick, a 2 bed stunner that was brand new and simply gorgeous I didn’t even care it was a 5th floor walk-up! That soon feel through followed by 4 more times the hardwood floor was pulled out from under us. But nothing comes easy [or cheap], and when I woke up this morning in my brand new room that has four walls and a door I forgot about the trauma and the fact that my savings are gone, for like 8 minutes.

 stay tuned for pictures and posts of my new place [since I’m so broke blogging is the only hobby I can currently afford]! xx

#London

I couldn’t think of a better reason to come out of my hiatus than a post-London post where I will begin to attempt to explain to you all how perfect those 4 short days were. Sister number 2 Cristi somehow managed to win a 4 day/3 night trip to London on Instagram by using the all holy hashtag ‘PricelessSurprises.’ The kicker: the trip would also include tickets to JT’s show at the O2 and a number of other activities I haven’t yet to fully grasped, so stay tuned. You’re probably wondering how I am even alive to write this post since I should have rightfully croaked the second I touched down in bloody Londontown, but luckily (like, really luckily) I didn’t. Aside from reluctantly, I left LONDON madly in love with tea, tiny finger sandwiches, MasterCard, and of course: London. I also left with that same feeling I had when I visited New York City for the first time, that this betch would be back. I won’t get into every detail, mostly because of fear of breaking my phone from the tears that will begin to stream out of my eyes, but here are some of my favorite pics:

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I MISS LONDON[boys] and I miss this! Blog ya soon folks, scouts honor. XXx P

hbd jt

It’s funny interesting sad that I can’t remember the capital of North Dakota (“nobody cares about the Dakotas!!”) but I’ll never forget the date January 31st. 

I remember one specific January 31st where my sister Cristi and I sang happy bday to JT as we sat Indian style in front of a J14 poster lined wall. Anyway, happy birfday to my sweet Justin Timberlake- your bday gift to yourself should be meeting me (look at me assuming JT reads my blog).

Fun fact: this post is coming to you live from a bar in LES. BYEEEEEE

bloggers block

not since attempting to start my 40 page senior thesis 3 months before it’s due date have I had such writers block. And even though this blog isn’t limited to the topic of the construction of perceived gender roles in adolescents (yeah), I still find myself driving the struggle bus to publish posts on the reg. Also, to be fair, keeping up with Indie was much easier during [what seemed like a year of] my unemployment. But trust that I am working on a few things and you all will be the first to know.

Here’s a vid to get you through today, and if you are like me, make you laugh so hard that you no longer need to exercise for the month and may or may not make you pee a little.

miss you, mean it

toro toro toro

I mentioned in the last post that working at Toro was a 2013 highlight, so I of course was not phased by my having to work on New Year’s Eve. A little back-story: the 31st was also the day our NY Times restaurant review was released, and after reading it [or skimming] you’ll see that there was lots to celebrate. We could not have asked for a better review or a better way to kick off the year.
As Toro’s unofficial resident designer, I was lucky enough to run with my creativity [sans balloon drop] and plan the details of our NYE fiesta. I knew I wanted the should-be overwhelming big space to feel intimate and romantic and candles were the answer. Sharing some fotos of what one of the partners deemed “creepy sexy.”
20140102-003407.jpg20140101-215853.jpg 20140102-003727.jpgThey say how you spend New Year’s Eve is how the rest of your year will be; if that’s true I am one lucky p.

in review

To say that 2013 was good to me would be a gross understatement. From the 1st of January to the 31st of December, 2013 gave me smiles, dreams, happiness, and answers. I settled into my first of many nyc apartments, I graduated college, met the man I have been stalking since I was 8, I found a job that I can’t wait to go to everyday, and I found that others out there share my disgust of tSwift. See? Gross understatement. Another one of my favorite moments of 2013 is all the feedback and love from Indie readers, and for that I can’t thank you enough. I even forgive all of you for no longer following after two hiatuses and bringing my readership back down to just my mom and some 7 year old who uses the brightness of my all-white blog layout to light his room at night. 2013 was also the perfect year to start my jar tradition which I’ve already started for 2014!

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Happy New Year dear readers! May your years be forever jar worthy.

Xoxxo P

saturday six

happy weekend amigos! aren’t you proud of me for pulling my shit together in time to post? Still not back to the friday-five, baby steps please. In truth there is tons I want to catch you all up on- like the best thanksgiving meal there ever was and how the AMAs fueled my Tswift hatred, but we’ll start small:

1. sweet jesus: I’ve never particularly wanted to work as a server, mainly because I’m confident I would not be good at it and people can be awful, but the thought did cross my mind after I heard of tips for jesus. Tips is basically a mysterious someone who is going around the US [and Mexico] leavings tips only worth of Jesus Christ. You may say Tips is a superhero whose superpower is their wallet, but you prob wouldn’t. Check out their insta account

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2. speaking of food: we were right? I just came across this buzz feed list which I am taking as the ultimate challenge. Get ready, stomach.

3. yule laugh: if you don’t watch Parks and Rec a. there’s something wrong with chu and b. you should. This season is especially amaze with the sprinkling of Billy Eichner in a couple eps. Then the funny duo got together to sing christmas carols through the streets of New York and it was the best thing that happened ever.

4. ordinary love: it’s no secret that I go fangirl for U2, how they continue to keep making amazing music decade after decade baffles me. Yesterday Sof showed me their latest music video for Ordinary Love. The vid is anything but ordinary but instead simply amazing- no really, it’s so simple. Watch hur.

5. dan charles: the only thing better than the news that P Rudd would be back on SNL again is that he would be joined by One Direction. My favorite skit of the night was Rudd acting as a 1d fan- his interaction with a mob of tweens and teens is perfect. something else to watch.

6. review: as we wait Toro’s NY Times review I’ve been reading old reviews from the mysterious Pete Wells. Possibly his greatest ever was a review of Guy Fieri’s Kitchen and Bar in America’s craphole: times sq. Each review is rated on a simple star system with 4 being the highest and 0 the lowest. But Guy reached a new low with not only not receiving any stars but Wells simply gave it a “poor” rating. LOL here

happy holidays! pee dee

sunday six

happy lazy sunday friends!! fact: I could have written 5 blog posts with all the free time I had today, but instead I barely managed to write this one.

1. heroes: they come in all shapes and sizes.

2. kardashian hating: when SNL premiered this season with Kenan Thompson atop the list of veterans everyone was ready to dub it the worst season ever. But if you’ve seen one clip you’d agree it’s just as good as the other 38. That’s partly because each ep has at least 8 kardashian digs, and if you ask me it’s not enough. Last night’s gold.

3. steve: along with eating bowls of cereal and ice-cream, another reurring childhood memory of mine is watching Father of the Bride parts 1 and 2 on the reg. Every friday growing up I had a date with Steve Martin over two slices of Little Caesar’s. Yesterday the comic was honored with a Governor’s Award and his speech brings to laughs and the tears.

4. b sprouts: along with kardashian bashing, I’m really glad a certain veggie is having it’s moment. Seriously though, it’s like, cool to eat brussels sprouts now. I really wanted to instagram this pic but is it lame-o to insta food you’ve made yourself? Trust me, it was crazy good and gone in 4 minutes.

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5. holy fog: part of the reason I stayed in for almost the entire day was on account of the forecast reading “fog.” Now, my naturally curly Cuban hair is no amigo to even the smallest amount of humidity so I just avoid the fro whenever I can. But even with the forecast I didn’t expect the fog to be making things disappear as it made my baby hairs appear! In the pic on the left was taken today and you’ll notice empire state building is missing, freaky.

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6. the funny: another reason SNL is still great: seth meyer’s and weekend update. I’ve watched this video 5 times today.

have a great week! x patty

THANK YOU

instead of any sorry notes this week I just want to write one thank you note to the folks over a GQ.

thank you so much GQ, for realizing what I have been saying since January: 2013 is the year of JT.

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this post is further argument that beards are better.justin-timberlake-men-of-the-year-gq-magazine-december-2013-style-article-05

thank you GQ, thank you.

An open letter to men

Hey,

whatsup? As a woman concerned for your well-being, please take what I am about to say as genuine advice, advice that you should seriously effing take. Moreover, the sole fact that I am a woman makes me overly equipped and qualified to tell you what I am about to. Fellas, it’s time to grow a beard.

did you know it is scientifically proven that beards and scruff make you more attractive? A study that did not need to be conducted concluded that male facial hair and attractiveness are highly correlated. This is something women and gay men have been trying to get you all to realize and this letter is another effort in that pursuit. Case in point: recent World Champion Boston Red Sox. The curse may have been broken in 2004 but with only one other win in 9 years it took the power of the beard to bring this team to victory, teaching us all that beards make you gents score (yes, women understand sports).

and haven’t you heard us go on and on about Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake?? Well, take note and quit fearing the beard- instead, embrace your face and keep it warm. I promise it will pay off, except of course for some reason you manage to grow a flesh colored beard.

Movember may support the cause of men’s health but a simple beard or scruff supports the somewhat greater cause of making you more appealing to the world. So take Movember a step further this year and grow a beard, and then continue to maintain it for the rest of your life.

sincerely,

a member of the better sex

also, while I have your attention, NO FLIP FLOPS EVER.